Come on down and get yourself a tasty corndog and crispy crinkle cuts from South Eastern Ohio’s premiere Corn Dog restaurant, the Corn Dog Palace. You’ll eat like a Corn King at the Corn Dog Palace!
Dear Janet,
We’ve been friends a long time, so I hope you’ll understand that it is only out of respect for that friendship that I am reaching out to you, once again, to state my case for free corn dogs. I have been the Mayor of Peffersburg for a long time, and free food is a part of the sacred bond between a Mayor and their constituents. If the president of the United States were to approach you at your restaurant and ask for a free corndog, you would surely oblige. Of course you would! After all, he’s the commander in chief of our country! Well, I am the commander in chief of our city and county, and I love corndogs almost as much as I love the people of Peffersburg. I feel that it would behoove you to ignore Dean’s repeated insistence that the free corndogs you graciously offered a different Mayor should not transfer over to me, the current Mayor. Dean has his good points, but I feel that, in this instance, he is encroaching on your entrepreneurial decision making, and this will only hurt The Corn Dog Palace, in the long run. Please, Janet. I’ve always felt you were an attractive, savvy, charming business person, and God knows you make a wonderful corndog. If not for me, for your country, please honor your obligations to Mayor Ullman, but instead to me.
Your friend and Mayor,
Mayor Rudy Wersal, Democrat
Dear Janet,
We’ve been friends a long time, so I hope you’ll understand that it is only out of respect for that friendship that I am reaching out to you, once again, to state my case for free corn dogs. I have been the Mayor of Peffersburg for a long time, and free food is a part of the sacred bond between a Mayor and their constituents. If the president of the United States were to approach you at your restaurant and ask for a free corndog, you would surely oblige. Of course you would! After all, he’s the commander in chief of our country! Well, I am the commander in chief of our city and county, and I love corndogs almost as much as I love the people of Peffersburg. I feel that it would behoove you to ignore Dean’s repeated insistence that the free corndogs you graciously offered a different Mayor should not transfer over to me, the current Mayor. Dean has his good points, but I feel that, in this instance, he is encroaching on your entrepreneurial decision making, and this will only hurt The Corn Dog Palace, in the long run. Please, Janet. I’ve always felt you were an attractive, savvy, charming business person, and God knows you make a wonderful corndog. If not for me, for your country, please honor your obligations to Mayor Ullman, but instead to me.
Your friend and Mayor,
Mayor Rudy Wersal, Democrat